As a professional coach I am immersed in the world of uncovering what we make things mean. I spend a lot of time with my clients looking at the stories they have about themselves and their life. In having my own coach, I also look at the stories that I have about my life, self and the world. For most of us, our stories feel like truth and fact. Yet, the majority of the time, the story is what we make up about an event, person, or comment.
If no one texts me to see what I am doing for the weekend, the story I make up is that I don't have any friends.
If after a discovery session I get a no to working together, the story I make up is that I am no good as a coach, entrepreneur, or that my service does not have value.
If I say hello to someone walking on the street and they ignore me, the story I make up is that people are unfriendly.
Now, the above stories are what would take hold if I was not aware that they are just that - a story - something my brain has made up based on a lifetime of beliefs and experiences. If I really wanted to hang on to the story, I could gather all kinds of evidence in its favor. And sometimes I do.
What is the predominant story in your life? Is it that you are unlovable? That you are awkward? That you aren't cut out for business? That people are untrustworthy? That life is hard? If people really knew you they wouldn't love you? That you can't make a difference?
Take a look. Ask yourself - what am I making the situation/comment/event mean? What evidence am I gathering to make this story true? When we can start to see outside of the story, not only does it have less power over us, we can also choose what we want to do with the story.
I can believe the story that I have no friends and wallow in my self-proclaimed loser status or I can choose outside of the story. One choice keeps me alone and right about being being alone in the world. The second choice has me text a couple of friends that ends with dinner, connection, and fun on a Saturday night.
The power in noticing your story and choosing outside of it, lies in not being indentured to who you think you are or are not based on interpretations. It allows you to move forward.
Take a look. What will you choose to empower for your stories?
You are seriously amazing.
Love & Laughter,